my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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