I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
