it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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