Your mouth is God's brothel.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Mom said you looked used
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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