just tell him i said nine months
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Your cock deserves a montage
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
