there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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