my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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