i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
