If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
