Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
