What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
