Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
