So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We named our party play list daddy issues
that's an acceptable place to lick
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
