the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
