I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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