i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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