it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
