What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
