"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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