ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
