Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
