i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
