the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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