just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize