he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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