TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
