Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
