drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
