Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
