This girl is more easily done than said...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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