Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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