Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
