Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
