I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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