She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
