perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
