I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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