our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
