SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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