We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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