this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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