Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize