Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
