im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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