i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
