I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
All I want is dick and wine.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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