He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
