The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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