If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
