Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
