It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
