i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
