What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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