you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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