I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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