Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
