Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
