After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
