My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
