yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
