She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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