Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
